You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
