So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
