just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
