Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize