I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize