my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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