Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
