she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
