I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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