I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
where are my eyebrows?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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