He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
