Jerry, you need to find god
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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