Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
