I cockslap morals
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
