he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
