i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize