i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
