It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
