I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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