I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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