..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
