never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
