Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize