Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
