I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
