But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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