Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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