using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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