Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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