she peed on how many people?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
