Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize