I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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