You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
