Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
