How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My life is pants optional.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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