this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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