haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i think i have two assholes
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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