you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Even my vagina gasped.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
