we're chasing vodka with high fives
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
