I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
