I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
