Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
