I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
