Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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