I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Randomize