why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
