i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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