The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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