I need help removing her.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You took a bar mat shot.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
