I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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