My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
