I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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