we're blogging at a bar
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
