HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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