my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
