I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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