I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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