She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
