Plan B is the new Plan A
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
