some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
