I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
