I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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