okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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