I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
