Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
