the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
