i think my tv is drunk
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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