I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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